cover letter

cover letter

first off, i might as well come out and say i'm a pretty lousy pitchman. i certainly have always felt distasteful of the idea of 'selling' myself, my 'art', etc. i've tended to take as much of a DIY approach as possible to most endeavors, rarely forming long lasting collaborations. i'd like to think at this point i'm less full of myself then i used to be, yet that still doesn't wash the distaste out of my mouth.
perhaps half the problem is the fact that i know how easy it would be to package some sort of presentation in a nice little bow that, as it unraveled, pressed all your buttons in just the right way. i don't like writing like that.
maybe i'm a bit of a sarcastic ass; maybe i'm adopting a pose as a defense against some sort of inevitable failure to actually communicate from my heart and reach you there.
i'm a fucking fullashit artist, what can i say?
i can't battle my guts on this one, i gotta shoot from the hip or turn the gun on myself here.
but narcissism never wins people over, what else've i got?

i'm trying to define my art for my own sake.
post-ironic absurdism is my current favorite label. not that labels are always a good thing.
trying to approach this idea thru a lens of post-apathetic detachment.
viewing the absurdity of modern life without judgment.
i want to document success and failure with total compassion, to create the kind of art that blows your mind as it pries open your heart. i want to confront the terrors and the ecstasies of the human condition.
i want to do this in a way that still feels humble.
this is obviously a tremendous challenge. pretensions such as these can be crippling to any writer. why do i think i can pull it off?
and thusly, we reach the crux of the matter. it's to myself that i have to prove my worth.
as some of my ideas have solidified i've often been struck with the audacity of what i'm attempting to pull off. but why not? is it the fear of failure that has prevented me from attempting such feats before?
it's taken a while for humility to get a firm grip in my life, not that you'd know it from this letter. and yet it's so easy to let the idea of humility completely undercut your ambitions. i certainly can't adopt a meek attitude here. faith and passion are my fuel; humility keeps me from doing burnouts in the parking lot all the time.